I definitely feel like a new person now. I asked that "would-be" friend a question on his formspring account and well... it really gave me some perspective on what I was doing.
I was only begging for attention. I guess I only wanted attention and not friends. Well, I sure as hell never got attention :P but ya know. Sh*t happens.
I took a good long look at myself though and why I was thoroughly depressed. My upbringing wasn't the easiest. I saw everyone around me in pain so it felt like my responsibility to carry that burden. To hold everyone's pain and sorrow on my shoulders. To this day I've been doing that and it's really messed with my head.
That answer though gave me something new. A rough awakening. A good ol' fashioned slap in the face.
I no longer carry everyone's burden. I'm 18. I'm an adult. I'll be living on my own soon and I don't need stuff like that slowing me down. I live for myself now.
I just hope he can forgive me. I apologized for my behavior but sometimes apologies aren't ever enough. I don't need friends or attention. I just have to be positive. Friends and attention are only extras in that.
I've always beat myself up but said the nicest things to others. No longer though. I'll say nice things about myself too and about people ^-^
I've really got to start practicing what I preach and adulthood seems like a good start.
No one reads this but hey, it's good to just get it out there. Thanks for reading!! :3
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